THE (FULL) STORY
OUT NOW
The End
#11B Goodbye - the 11B chapter, an alternative ending - brings me back to my childhood room. At first, I tell myself that I have forgotten us. Everything has finally faded. Then the memories come through and what follows is truly letting go. Or, well, coming as close to that as possible. Where Finally Found You ends with being chosen by someone else, Goodbye ends with finally choosing myself.
#11A Finally Found You - the 11A chapter - it had been a while since I’d felt this safe with someone. Someone I could talk to about anything, who shared my outlook on the world and brought me coffee in bed on a Saturday morning. Even when we'd fight, I still felt loved. This song is about that feeling.
#10 Just Tonight- the 10th chapter - most days, I’m happy with the life I have now. Then there are evenings when I miss having him to call. I miss how easily we could talk, our walks, the familiarity of being held by someone who knew me. I still remember the lies and why it ended. But sometimes I wish I could spend one more night with him without having to face everything that would mean in the morning.
#9 Sparrow - the 9th chapter - This one is about being angry with someone and still wishing things had worked out. About expecting to grow together, then having to make plans without them. It moves between regretting the goodbye and remembering why it happened. Some things were said in anger. Some still feel true after the anger has passed.
The Climax
#8 Rain in September - the 8th chapter - we sat together, apologised, held hands, and said goodbye. There was still tenderness between us, which made it difficult to accept that we were actually ending it. Afterwards, I kept returning to the conversation and all the small things I would miss. It's a gentle goodbye, the kind that lingers.
#7 Do You Remember - the 7th chapter - it's difficult to leave when it feels like there’s still so much you don’t want to lose. The good memories make you question the decision all over again. You wonder whether the promises meant as much to the other person, whether they remember it the way you do. And, for a while, you stay because you still hope they do.
#6 Woods - the 6th chapter - this one is about infatuation. About recognising the reasons to leave and still wanting to stay. An exaggeration, of course, but so is almost everything when you’re caught up in someone. At the time, it might really feel this way.
#5 It Will Get Better - the 5th chapter - it's a tale as old as time. He hurts her. She hopes it will be different next time. It never is. As “It will get better” becomes something constantly repeated, it gets harder to actually believe in these words.
The Beginning
#4 Midnight Conversations - the 4th chapter - we used to stay up because there was always something else to say. Later, we’d lie beside each other and have the same conversations without getting anywhere, or say nothing because we were tired of trying. I missed the feeling of wanting to share was on my mind. He was still right there, but not really.
#3 Pieces - the 3rd chapter - we had small things I wanted to keep, such as reading together in the morning, holding hands, a goodbye hug. The thing is, even while they were happening, I was afraid they wouldn’t last. I wanted to enjoy being with him, but I was already imagining the end.
#3 Pieces is about trying to hold on to moments you haven’t lost yet.
#2 Burn - the 2nd chapter - there were surprise trips, dancing in the kitchen, and nights when we talked until morning. I loved having us We fought and disappointed each other too, but at the time, finding our way back felt like proof that we could make it work. #2 Burn is about that part of the story, when I was caught up in everything we were and everything I thought we could become.
#1 Unstoppable - the 1st chapter - this chapter was written when I felt small and insignificant, struggling to find my place in this world. It's for every time I've stumbled, for every fall that's made me who I am. It kept me going then and it keeps me going now.